Almost a month ago I attended a Christmas tea at a local Bible bookstore. I went with a group of friends and entered with the anticipation of being filled with the Christmas spirit. I knew one of the speakers, a friend of mine, author, and lover of Jesus. I didn’t know the other speakers but they were passionate and kind and their love of God exuded from them. Not only did I leave feeling a little more in the spirit of Christmas but I left with one phrase echoing through my head, and sadly I don’t even remember which speaker said it and I’ll paraphrase it here… ‘Instead of a Resolution, we need to be seeking a Solution’…. have you sat on that for a little? Go ahead, I’ll be right here waiting when you’re done…
So if we need to be seeking a solution, you know what that means right? There’s a problem. Plain and simple, we don’t look for solutions when there aren’t problems, and since a resolution is something we proclaim about ourselves, then that means there is a problem with us. As a disclosure I never said this was going to be a fluffy post – when we look at ourselves, really look inside, it usually isn’t all fluffy is it? So what is the problem? Well, that will surely differ depending on who we are, and what our resolution is won’t it? I do however think that all of our problems lie within, and the first problem we need to fix is not just looking within ourselves but to God for the solution. Because if we are really truly honest and want to fix what needs fixing, we know we are the problem. For me it’s usually a heart problem. We can point fingers and place blame…but it really needs to start with us. Hubby always says, “If you aren’t part of the solution you are part of the problem.” Thanks babe.
OK, let’s break this down a little, because I have done some deep looking within these past 10 years and most especially the last 3. Which is a lot of looking at myself,learning, growing, seeking. So for purposes of we will use this resolution “To disconnect from Social Media” (I’m in a goal setting group and I keep seeing this come up). So is your time spent on social media your computer or phones fault? I think not. Is it just a habit? Is it really fun or are you comparing yourself to others? Are you using it as a way to not have to face something else? Are you craving attention, pity, praise? These are questions you have to ask yourself if this were in fact your resolution. Because digging into those questions is where you will find the problem…and from there you can start coming up with a solution. If it’s nothing more than habit, delete the apps that make it too convenient. If you are comparing yourself to others, look for the why in that, why do you care, what does it matter…how can you boost your confidence…maybe you need to remind yourself that the only one you need to please is God, and get OK with that.
Here is one of mine, so you don’t feel like I’m picking on you 😉 I resolve to spend more quality time with my husband. Awe, that’s so sweet isn’t it? Of course it is…but there’s this…his job has changed in the past 7 months and he is traveling a lot. His job is stressful, demanding, and never stops – he is basically on call 24/7, add in the travel and well, he isn’t around too much and when he is there is a lot of distraction. To be 100% honestly it has left me feeling a little lonely lately, and not because I’m alone, I don’t mind being alone (and honestly am I ever really alone here?). It’s not the tasks or added chores around the house, the late night pick-ups of kids (OK I kinda mind that) I mind, it’s the endless days of not talking with him due to crazy schedules and conflicting time zones. So I really want to create a space that when he is home it is peaceful, refreshing, fun, and quality present time together. So why haven’t I done it? Well, I’ve tried (sort of) but something always gets in the way, usually kid stuff. And sometimes I’m tired stuff…so I have looked into what I’ve been doing that is working and what isn’t. Honesty moment – I haven’t been managing my time well. I am aware. My biggest time waster I have uncovered is this…I am waiting until I get all the kids off to school to start getting ready for my day. That’s 2 1/2 hours of my day. Then I’m taking an hour to shower, dress, etc, etc… If I better utilize my time (I’m up anyway) I can get my work for work done by 12 or 1 and have the rest of the day to do house stuff, kid homework stuff etc so I’m all ready to be present when he gets home. It’s important to me. It will be less stressful for him, and our time together will be better spent.
Maybe your resolution is to lose weight. I don’t know if you need to change your diet, stop eating cookies for lunch, or to get more exercise. But you know. You know if you are a stress eater and should instead indulge in a quick walk around the office or block and spend 15 minutes in a book you love. If you want to get more sleep, only you can turn the TV off and put a good evening self care plan into action. What’s stopping you? I bet its you, and I bet there is a reason behind it if you dig deep enough. Now, we all have these things, so don’t slump into a pity party of ‘I’m such a mess’, ‘what’s wrong with me’, ‘why can’t I just be like…’ so stop before you start. And don’t try to tackle all your problems at one time. Pick the thing that you feel God has laid on your heart the most. The thing that just keeps coming back up again and again and again. The thing that you just can’t stop thinking about changing. Start, take the first step to start…you will be glad you did. Even if it’s just one simple little thing, dive in and enjoy the journey of finding a solution. When you uncover the problem, rejoice that God opened your eyes to it, and is giving you grace to conquer it. Find freedom in knowing there is a solution to every problem, and you have the power to find it.