In a world that is screaming individuality, we find it ironic that when it comes to schooling everyone is supposed to fit into the same peg. I am not an educator, and I am thankful for that. I do however feel that most children would get so much more out of being taught in the style they learn in, and I will 100% always stand by that statement. Of our four kids, we have reference book reading learners, we have hands on learners, we have hear it and it’s implanted in their memory bank for life learners and so on. So unlike our fine state that we live in who thinks giving all the kids, no matter their learning style, intelligence, giftedness or special need that they will all be assessed in the exact same manner – well that sure is a fine way to assess a teacher, don’t you think? I am thankful I am not assessed in that manner when dealing with my children because any grounded, present, really paying attention to their kid parent knows that what works for one child may not work for the others and vice versa.
Months ago to commented on something someone posted on Facebook, I can’t remember exactly what the post was or what my comment was, however, I do remember that their response to my comment was that all of their children would be going to college, it was not an option in their home, to them it is equivalent to a high school diploma these days and there would be no discussion on the matter – huh, easy to say when your oldest child is starting kindergarten. I am not judging these people I think they are great people and they are entitled to their opinion. However, they have not walked in our shoes and I pray they don’t have to. I also have no issue with college, I think it is an amazing tool for specific careers. I also think there are valuable life skills that are learned during college and a great way to teach responsibility. However, it is not for everyone and there needs to be respect for that as well.
Maybe it’s different for us, because hubby and his partner are highly successful and neither of them went to college. I watched my father be a successful entrepreneur my entire life, no college education. Please note, in no way am I saying college is a bad choice, I am saying there are options and we have and I am sure will continue to be judged for choosing such options. Case in point our daughter…our oldest child…she hates school – yes HATES school. Why, I have no idea and she never seems to be able to put her finger on it. So you must be thinking she probably isn’t a good student, right? Wrong! She is extremely intelligent, gets great grades, passes all those standardized tests with advanced etc. but she hates it. She hates it so much that during her 8th grade year so got so depressed and withdrawn I honestly thought I was going to have to have her admitted somewhere, and this is something I would never wish on anyone. See, she’s creative, she’s a leader, she doesn’t have time for petty drama that surrounds her, she spends a ton of time in study halls doing nothing. Her joy comes through music and worship. She is a hard worker, loves her job, is learning a trade and is surrounded by amazing, faith filled, positive, confident, successful women and that is why I went to the ends of the earth fighting to get her into a work co-op program next year. And here comes the flying judgement from people around us…because she has absolutely no desire to go to college, at least not when she is 18, and we are 100% OK with that, because it is her happiness that we value a thousand times more then any piece of paper after 4 years. She has had to field comments and judgement from adults around her – when did we stop encouraging people to follow their hearts?
Flip side, our oldest son, yeah the one who threw a temper tantrum in the public library at age 3 because they wouldn’t let him check out the reference book he carried around for an hour that was just about as big as he was – yeah he will be going to college, because who wants a surgeon who didn’t?!?! 😉 But in all seriousness, he loves learning, he loves facts. His fourth grade teacher told me at his conference, “if I put a worksheet in front of him (busy work) all the color drains out of his face, if I put a documentary on, he about falls off his seat because he is so excited!”. Years ago I was washing dishes and when I turned the water off I heard the television droning on about jelly fish antivenom, I dried my hands and went to turn it off assuming someone had left it on…yeah they did and he was watching it and later reiterated it at the dinner table for his father. I would like to say we recently had a conversation in the car about microbiology and cells and chromosomes, but it was more like I was in a Peanuts show and he was the teacher because all I heard was that garbled droning on and on, because I had no idea what he was saying, I tried to ask a few questions but it was clear I had no clue, but I listened intently because he matters to me. His passion and love of science, as much out of my zone of knowledge and comfort, is his zone, his love, we will continue to encourage him in this area.
Skip to child #3 and he’s our kiddo who struggles in school…not a lot but enough that he doesn’t love it – he loves to read, but tests, and math – forget it – but give him something hands on to fix or construct…now you’re talking. He’s on the cusp of becoming a teenager, so may things change, but right now he’s excited to learn about the different trades that are open to him at the technical school, and he’s excited about it. And the look in his eyes, that sparkle, that excites me too. Because I have always said, someone has to pour the concrete, someone has to get power to our house, fix our cars, lay the foundation of the homes we live in, and if it’s my kid, and it makes him happy, that is all that matters to me.
So will we make our children go to college, absolutely not. Will we guide them in the direction that speaks to them, that speaks to their natural talents, their gifts that God gave them, we absolutely will. Will we be their biggest advocates and help pave a way for them when others get in their way, absolutely. And will we defend their choices about not wanting to go to college, or on doing school a half day and working a half day, you betcha we will. And just because as an adult you, or I, or we regret our choices, we don’t need to push them onto someone else. We want our children’s choices to be fueled by their passion, and that is why we won’t make our kids go to college if that is what they chose. Can you imagine the morning commute if it was filled with people on fire with passion for what they were doing? We want to challenge all adults, with kids, without, with young children or adult ones, to consider extending all youth the courtesy of respect no matter their choice on this subject. To listen, hear their hearts then guide them. Remember, choosing a different path, is often times harder… to walk against the currant is always harder then it is to jump on a tube and float down the river with the rest of the crew.
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